Blunted

By Media Farm

del.ico.us | digg it! | reddit!

print | email | 0 Comments

Media Farm didn't know what to write about this week. The dailies were particularly subdued, even the locals like the Somerville Journal, which is usually good for a laugh ("Crack Found in Man's Butt"—best headline ever). And, we have to admit, we even liked Stuf@Night's interview with drag queen extraordinaire Mizery for its Beauty issue (even if the cover was just a shitty photo of a barber's pole, with the word "Beauty," which made us feel like we were looking at a liberal arts LitMag, not a choochy local version of Elle). And, yes, we were planning on talking about the massive layoffs at Forbes.com, Essence, Entertainment Weekly, National Geographic, thestreet.com, InStyle and the approximately 20 jobs the Tribune Co. shed at its WASHINGTON DC OFFICE right before an exciting and historic presidency kicks off ... but, we know you're used to hearing smack-your-own-forehead bad news, and it's hard to make that same old shit smell fresh and interesting with each new shovel-load.

We were blocked! We were fucked! Thank heavens for the Metro.

Monday's issue featured a front page note about the paper's "global guest editor." Chris Matthews? Nope. Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Seymour Hersh? You're getting colder.

Today's Metro is truly unique.

It's edited by singer James Blunt and his views are published in most Metros all over the world. It's something that never happened before.

Um, not if you're talking about a publication having a guest editor. See Esquire (remember the Ali G issue?). If you're talking about an international newspaper using a pop star who plays predictable, boring chords while warbling in annoying nasal tones, then, yes, this may be a first. But, you see, Metro, some things have never been done before because they're brain-freezingly idiotic.

The paper looked pretty much the same, with national AP articles sprinkled in with Metro correspondents' local stories culled straight from press releases. Blunt did write the op-ed, which wandered from how he "visited more than 180 cities on [his] world tour" and all the hotels blasted the AC, to the "economic slowdown," to how he plays a preview of An Inconvenient Truth before his shows, to how we need to fix global warming now.

Blunt's only apparent contributions to the paper consisted of little blurbs with his brainless commentary, in the form of speech bubbles emitting from an unflattering, gape-mouthed photo of him looking like he's about to sneeze or vomit (it's OK, Blunt ... the Metro makes us feel the same way). For a page 6 article about Barack Obama's cabinet picks having more Capitol Hill experience than Bush's did, Blunt commented on Obama reaching out to former rivals (an article that was on page 1):

Interesting to see that Obama talks to people like Hillary Clinton and even John McCain to build his administration. I hope that this will go also for his foreign policy. [sic] The U.S. needs to see and call other nations friends, not enemies. There needs to be a time of bridge-building.

<i>

Good god, it reads like Sarah Palin on Valium. So, we don't just need to "call other nations friends," we need to see, too (because we've, like, been blind). Or see other nations (does this mean we'll talk to Britain about having an open relationship?).

STOP KILLING OUR LANGUAGE!!! Since when does summing up the gist of the article and giving a vague and idiotic "opinion" qualify as commentary? How does that make you an editor? Clearly, the whole issue proves what we already knew: that the Metro has no idea what editing is.

MEANWHILE, PEOPLE WHO actually know how to edit have been fired. The New York Times' David Carr drew the analogy between downsizing in the media industry and at Circuit City, which fired its veteran (and thus, more expensive) employees in favor of cheaper, less-experienced workers. And, like Circuit City, in the process of cutting corners to cut costs, papers are shaving away the few advantages they had on their digital competitors.

Right now, the consumer has all manner of text to choose from on platforms that range from a cellphone to broadsheet. The critical point of difference journalism offers is that it can reduce the signal-to-noise ratio and provide trusted, branded information. That will be a business into the future, perhaps less paper-bound and smaller, but a very real business ...But [newspapers] won't stay relevant to readers with generic content ginned up by newbies with no background in the communities they serve.

<i>

It's kinda like James Blunt grasping in the dark for a perspective on foreign policy (or on writing itself), which he simply doesn't have.