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DEAR READER
By CARA BAYLES
Happy Mother's Day! You didn't forget, right? Oh shit! Better ride a Dutch bike home, order some organic flowers and make a reservation at a restaurant that serves a gourmet cheese plate designed by expert cheesemongers (check Department of Commerce for more), and take her to the Art Institute of Boston's first student-run expo. After that, dump her as fast as you can and woof it to the Dizzee Rascal show. Read Faraone's article to learn how to interact with the rap star.
Here comes the written equivalent of those jerks who wave "Hi Mom!" signs behind TV reporters. Last week, at the end of a phone conversation with my mom, I said, "Love you, I shaved my head, bye." Looking like GI Jane/Britney Spears/a 12-year-old boy isn't the worst part. Nor is the temporary loss of my mother's love; she'll forgive me as it grows back. But I completely forgot I'm visiting my grandparents this weekend. Can you imagine the damage I've done? A billion organic flowers, art shows and smelly cheeses won't repair that!
So in case I don't make it past Sunday, dear, dear reader, please do me a favor next week. Enjoy the newest additions to our DOC section and the second part of our prison feature series for me.
"Hi Mom!"



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