NORTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY

By BARRY THOMPSON

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You think about your future a lot. You've known since day one that you wanted to be an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer or some dick who flips cars over every time the Pats win. You want to experience the world; meanwhile, the world might need some time before experiencing you.

SHOP HERE

Although NU is known more for co-op programs and riots than academic excellence ... I forgot where I was going with that. In any case, there are lots of places around campus to buy stuff. The Prudential Center [800 Boylston St., prudentialcenter.com] and Newbury Street are, like, right next to you. The Pru features things like $8 shoelaces and awesomely, The Skywalk Observatory up on the 50th floor. You bet your ass you can see your apartment from up there. Aside from Newbury Comics [332 Newbury St., newburycomics.com], the Newb's got terrorist attack survival gear at Army Barracks Inc. [328 Newbury St., armybarracks.com], decorative curiosities at Gargoyles Grotesques & Chimera [262 Newbury St.], debatably trendy swag at Johnny Cupcakes [279 Newbury St., johnnycupcakes.com], and panhandlers to feel superior to, even at a tender age such as yours. Underground Hip-Hop Dot Com [234 Huntington Ave., undergroundhiphop.com] is hidden in plain sight, and certainly worth a browse.

EAT THIS

A major advantage to living amid a cluster of colleges is abundant access to pharmaceutical speed. Though unadvisable, a Huskie could subsist on absolutely nothing for days. If amphetamine psychosis isn't your thing, there are other alternatives to bowl-wrenching café slop. Cappy's Pizza [82 Westland Ave., cappyspizza.com] and New York Pizza [435 Mass. Ave.], are dandy options for staple munchies. If you've got the scratch/initiative for an actual dining experience, there's The Other Side Café [407 Newbury St., myspace.com/othersidecafeboston], with its cokeless coke den ambiance, and Betty's Wok & Noodle [250 Huntington Ave., bettyswokandnoodle.com], if you likes you some international chow, but don't have enough dough for Pho.

HANG OUT HERE

Perceptive types will notice that bars in NU's immediate vicinity are fucking unholy. Thankfully, a 15-minute walk up the hill brings you to Brigham Circle--site of numerous respectable joints to get shithoused, like Flann O'Brien's [1619 Tremont St., flanns.com], Penguin Pizza [735 Huntington Ave., thepenguinpizza.com], and their sister, the Squealing Pig [134 Smith St.]. Legitimate Bostonians frequent these establishments, but despite their hatred for you, they'll prove enjoyable, educational drinking companions. Give your musical horizons some overdue broadening at Symphony Hall [301 Mass. Ave., bso.org], or the Berklee Performance Center [136 Mass. Ave., berkleebpc.com]. Of course, if those horizons are fine just the way they are, hit a concert or dance night at Avalon [15 Lansdowne St., avalonboston.com]--while it's still here, that is. Providing daylight endures, you could sit quietly contemplating the meaning of it all, get mauled by rabid geese, or play in piles of used condoms in the Fens.

AVOID

Wasting your four to five years in Boston getting fucked up and watching Family Guy in your dorm. There's fun shit happening here, and contrary to popular disinformation, it's not all in kegger form. Also avoid: The Fens after dark; majoring in Bio; plain clothes po-po; mistaking yourself for a smart, interesting person; deliberately remaining boring.