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EMERSON COLLEGE
By MICHAEL BRODEUR
del.ico.us
reddit!
You are a communicator, an artist, a poet, a filmmaker, a marketeer, an actor, a free spirit with your eyes on the prize. And now, you're an Emersonian--which means that soon, you will drive everyone on earth up the fucking wall with your bullshit. Your salutatorian speech at high school commencement was an interpretive dance. Your band printed T-shirts before you wrote any songs. Every moment of your life is a MySpace profile pic waiting to happen. The world is your proverbial browser.
SHOP HERE
Having Downtown Crossing, the Common and the Theater District at your door means you'll no longer be the biggest freak in the neighborhood, but it also means you've got plenty of ways to break in that Visa your stepdad gave you. Nearby Washington St. is like your hometown mall, only with more meth addicts and religious zealotry; H&M [350 Washington St, hm.com] is always handy and cheap, and the recently relocated Filene's Basement [497 Newbury St., filenesbasement.com] is decent; but the indie boutiques of Tremont Street are just down the way. Uniform [511 Tremont St., uniformboston.com] and Motley [623 Tremont St., shopmotley.com] carry great menswear, while Sooki [505 Tremont St., sookiboston.com] and Turtle [619 Tremont St., turtleboston.com] hook the ladies up. As for books, fuck the on-campus Barnes & Noble and hit up Commonwealth Books [134 Boylston St., commonwealthbooks.com] and the storied Brattle Book Shop [9 West St., brattlebookshop.com] for some real deals and true finds.
EAT HERE:
Honestly, your dining hall ain't that bad; but when your innards say different, you can explore the many eateries of Chinatown, with Buddha's Delight [5 Beach St.] being of special interest to your vegan ilk. Big spenders (collegiately speaking) should check out Troquet [140 Boylston St., troquetboston.com] for delicious French fare and amazing cheese, or Teatro [177 Tremont St., teatroboston.com] for high-end snacks and deal-sealing dinner dates. Of course, for the best of the wurst and a great time in one of Boston's oldest and most consistent gems, you have to munch up at Jacob Wirth [31 Stuart St., jacobwirth.com]--they even do piano sing-alongs, you big queen.
HANG HERE:
Just outside your dorm lies the seething throbzone of The Alley[between Charles and Tremont off of Boylston St.] which houses a handful of clubs like The Liquor Store [liquorstoreboston.com] and The Estate [theestateboston.com], and the my-first-pair-of-Manolos set will delight at the fashionista exclusivity of Gypsy Bar [116 Boylston St., gypsybarboston.com]. But for the rest of you, Intermission Tavern [228 Tremont St., intermissiontavern.com] is a fine watering hole, and a short walk away is one of Beacon Hill's best pubs, The Sevens [77 Charles St.].
AVOID:
Using the fake ID you just made; using the business cards you just made; developing skull tumors by putting down your cell phone now and then; swimming in the Charles; your own campus at night; comparing yourself to Denis Leary or Henry Winkler; gay sex (just kidding!); psychopaths from the Common and your Artist and the Making of Meaning class.
