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To the creep who stole my underwear
By Dig Reader
del.ico.us
reddit!
To the creep who stole my underwear from the Inman Square Laundromat:
I left for 10 minutes to get a cup of coffee, and when I came back it was gone. All my panties ganked from the dryer. Imagine my surprise. You know, because going to the Laundromat isn’t a miserable enough experience to begin with, I have to deal with some douche picking through my clean clothes and stealing them from me.
What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously. What the fuck. Those were MY panties. Mine. Not yours. Shame on you, you pervert. And you certainly didn’t need all of them, did you? And all my roommate’s underwear, to boot? Wouldn’t one or two pairs have sufficed? What the hell did you need 40 pairs of panties for?
No, never mind, I don’t want to know. I’ve run the gamut of possibilities, trying to understand your motivation, and it makes me writhe with disgust and fury. Whatever you’re going to do with them is your own nasty business, and I’m going to try to put this whole experience behind me.
I assume you’re quite pleased with yourself and your acquisition. Congratulations, asshole. I hope the lace chafes your ball-sac something awful.
Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to letters@weeklydig.com, or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.
