Bean Counter

By Dig Staff

del.ico.us | digg it! | reddit!

print | email | 0 Comments

A hawk attacks middle school student Alexa Rodrigez (no relation) at Fenway Park. The Globe does a breathless play-by-play exclusive on its website. MINUS 2

Scientists believe humans migrated to the American continent 1,000 years earlier than originally estimated. The proof? Fossilized shit, found in a cave in Oregon. Ah, legacy. PLUS 1

The O'Reilly Factor's gopher, Jesse Watters, ambushes Rep. Eugene O'Flaherty, D-Chelsea, outside his home, to ask him why Jessica's Law—which sets mandatory minimum sentences for sex offenders—hasn't passed in Massachusetts. MINUS 1

O'Flaherty tells Watters to go back to journalism school. Zing! PLUS 1

Machete violence put nine people statewide in the hospital this year. Knives are unregulated and much cheaper than guns. Brings new significance to Crocodile Dundee's adventures. That man was ahead of his time. MINUS 2

A Globe survey found that more than half of a sample of residents who called in to the city's complaint line had to make multiple calls or have yet to hear back from the city. It's time to call in a complaint about the complaint line. City officials say in 2010, callers will receive tracking numbers for their complaints (like UPS), so they can monitor the process and see government inaction firsthand (oops, we mean "in action"). MINUS 2

Moses, Michelangelo, soylent green (is people!) eater and Michael Moore punching bag Charlton Heston dies at 84. MINUS 1

Martin Meehan, who's been the acting chancellor of UMass Lowell for nine months, enjoyed a week of inauguration festivities. Even the kids on My Super Sweet Sixteen don't get that kind of attention. Party on, Meehan. EVEN

Rep. Denis Guyer, D-Dalton, is pushing legislation that would give Charlie Card users dollar bills as change. Because really, no one believes those $1 coins are valid currency anyway. PLUS 1

In an effort to keep the Olympic flame away from French protesters decrying China's human rights abuses, security officials extinguish the flame and take it on a bus. Hey, that's cheating! PLUS 1

Turns out former Big Dig Chief Michael Lewis did not retire (as the state previously claimed), but was fired when his position was eliminated last year (probably his job was so much fun he wanted to hold onto it as long as he could). Because he was fired, his pension tripled ... apparently we haven't paid enough for all the fantastic work done on the Big Dig. MINUS 2

A federal judge rules Boston University cannot turn over the names of students who illegally downloaded music. Students win their privacy, the Recording Industry Association of America loses its claims of copyright infringement and a ton of money. Eh, PLUS 1

THIS WEEK'S TOTAL: MINUS 5

LAST WEEK'S TOTAL: MINUS 7