[Bean Counter] 
The Milky Way Lounge could close down as early as August, when its 15-year lease on the Jamaica Plain location is up. After that, the rent is scheduled to go up by 85 percent. Mayor Menino, apparently a fan of bowling, wrote to the Milky Way's landlord requesting a temporary negotiated lease for the "iconic symbol of Jamaica Plain." Hipster bowlers, get in as much time as you can. Even if the Mayor's letter campaign is victorious, it only staves off the inevitable for another year. MINUS 1
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OMG LOL ... j/k. The Dig is back to normal. All you naysayers: we did not jump the shark. We killed the motherfucker and ate it for breakfast. PLUS 1
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Researcherz in Atlanta declard dis past flu season 2 be teh worst in 3 years, cuz da vaccine had only a 44-percent success rate. LOL. :(
A lawsuit against formr lead paint manufacturers will be webcast! A Rhode Island Supreme Court will hear 1 company's appeal of a 2006 verdict dat found it guilty of "creating a public nuisance," and ordered it 2 clean contaminashun from RI homez, a process that could cost $2 billion. U can watch the openin arguments May 15th! FUN! :)
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Gov. Deval Patrick signs a law requiring children under 8 to ride in a car seat or a booster seat. Giant children over 4'9" are exempt. Now if only the legislature could address the danger of men with Napoleon complexes in phallic automobiles ... PLUS 1
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A hawk attacks middle school student Alexa Rodrigez (no relation) at Fenway Park. The Globe does a breathless play-by-play exclusive on its website. MINUS 2
Scientists believe humans migrated to the American continent 1,000 years earlier than originally estimated. The proof? Fossilized shit, found in a cave in Oregon. Ah, legacy. PLUS 1
[Bean Counter]
A hawk attacks middle school student Alexa Rodrigez (no relation) at Fenway Park. The Globe does a breathless play-by-play exclusive on its website. MINUS 2
Scientists believe humans migrated to the American continent 1,000 years earlier than originally estimated. The proof? Fossilized shit, found in a cave in Oregon. Ah, legacy. PLUS 1
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State police raid the Medford home of old-school mobster Peter Limone. He's the same guy who won $101.7 million in a wrongful conviction case against the feds. If a 1965 federal frame-up is worth that much, a guarded ongoing investigation and a raid has got to be worth a gift certificate or a free dinner. EVEN
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State lawmakers consider a bill that would make water and juice bottles recyclable. Since 2002, Massachusetts liquid consumers have doubled their intake of bottled water. But now you won't have to feel guilty about picking Perrier over Boston municipal ...except, you know, you'll still look like a tool. PLUS 4
[Bean Counter] 
Speaker Sal DiMasi and Gov. Deval Patrick trade corny jokes about casinos at the two-and-a-half hour Saint Patrick's Day breakfast in Southie. At least they came together to sing a Mayor Menino tribute to the tune of the traditional ballad "Molly Malone." You think this is rowdy? Wait until you see how these guys celebrate Passover! PLUS 2
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Basic food products (flour, milk) are becoming ridiculously more expensive. Yeah, you beat the energy crisis by riding your bike to work, but with egg prices jumping 40 percent in the last year, oil is looking mighty tasty. MINUS 40
Google captured City Councilor Sal LaMattina shirtless and hosing down his garbage cans for the Google Street View photo of his East Boston residence. It could be worse ... imagine what they would catch Mitt Romney doing in his front yard. PLUS 1
