[Department of Commerce]

$25-$50

Holiday Gift Guide

By DIG STAFF

ZOODOPTION | $35

The care and feeding of your favorite furry-feathered friend from the Franklin Park or Stone Zoo is surprisingly inexpensive. We wouldn't recommend bestowing a gorilla adoption as a romantic gesture, lest your lady friend interprets the gift as, "Here baby, when I think of you, I think of territorial, sometimes violent, inherently ugly primates. Loves!"

[Available at Zoo New England, 617.989.2076. zoonewengland.org]

 

WRITER'S MARKET 2008 BY ROBERT LEE BREWER | $29.99

Give that budding writer a constructive way in which they can start paying back their student loans. Hell, with more than 3,500 listings of publishers and their freelance pitching guidelines, it'll certainly give 'em better use of their 1.5-monthlong winter break than freebasing in their parents' basement.

[Available at Porter Square Books, 25 White St., Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.491.2220. portersquarebooks.com]

 

TWIGS AND HEATHER SEA GLASS & SILVER JEWELRY | $40 and up

These pretty one-offs are crafted from sterling silver and glass "tumbled" by the Atlantic Ocean. Awww, perfect for the sentimental type. You can even take the shard you collected on your last beachside stroll and have it custom built into a piece. Did we mention they're made by twin sister silversmiths? It's all too freakin' precious.

[Available for special order at Turtle, 619 Tremont St., South End, Boston. 617.266.2610. turtleboston.com]

 

BEER BUGGY | $39.99

Just when you thought you've maxed out your laziness, your new best friend wheels up: a remote control car with cup holders in the back. It can fetch your beer for you, so you don't have to make that arduous journey to the fridge. Rock bottom, baby, rock freakin' bottom.

[Available at Spencer's, Meadow Glen Mall, 3850 Mystic Valley Pkwy., Medford. 781.395.4877. spencersonline.com]

 

TOILET TUNES | $29.95

You're free to just let it flow with this gadget designed to reduce and eliminate (heh, get it?) the embarrassing noises we make in the bathroom. For a measly price, you can give the gift of peace of mind to friends and loved ones. Plus, we can't think of a better place to get cozy with Tiësto.

[Available at Toilet Tunes, gettoilettunes.com]

 

I HEART TSA T-SHIRT | $28

Handmade, arty T-shirts are teh shit and DISTRO.Y is teh shittiest (and we mean that the best way). There's no reason why you shouldn't support the fierce design duo behind the clothing, and we're def feeling this TSA shirt. Yoohoo! Logan, here we come!

[Available at DISTRO.Y, 129 Kingston St., Suite 5, Boston. 617.848.0911. distroy.com]

 

ESOTERIC PTERO HOODIE | $39.97

It wasn't enough for Boston snap rap vet Esoteric to prove that he can move alt-hop's ever-growing hipster demographic. Being the "Egoclapper" that he is, Eso also had to design the gear that cats would rock at his shows. On the real, this is a much better testament to your love for good music than that John Tesh girdle.

[Available at Underground Hip Hop, 234 Huntington Ave., Boston. 617.262.0200. ughh.com]

 

BOSTON RED SOX CUFFLINKS | $44.99

The 2007 season is over: You watched, you cheered, you may have even gotten in a drunken shouting match with a police horse in Kenmore Square after the World Series clincher. Now try representing the Old Towne Team with a bit more class and office-appropriate swagger with these ballerific cufflinks. Papi would be proud.

[Available at Chowdaheadz, 35B Industrial Pkwy., Woburn. 781.491.0707. chowdaheadz.com]

 

THE NEW YORKER 2008 DESK DIARY | $29.95

Your CrackBerry was cool for a while, but now every kid at BU keeps at least two (one for Facebook and the other for texting daddy for more money). Stay organized and fashionably liberal with this elegantly designed desk diary: stylish, useful and approved by the ultimate authority in refined hipness, The New Yorker.

[Available at The New Yorker Store, thenewyorkerstore.com]

 

'STACK I' SPICE UNIT | $29

The Spice Stack condenses what looks like miniature pet dishes into a sleek tower on your table. Belgian designer Koen De Winter's stack is made of smooth white stoneware. Tidy up mustards, salt and pepper into the corner, or feed a four-inch terrier.

[Available at UrbanPeel, urbanpeel.com]

 

GASTROANOMALIES: QUESTIONABLE CULINARY CREATIONS FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICAN COOKERY BY JAMES LILEKS | $23.95

The postwar kitchen seemed like a scary place for people who could taste. The advent of the refrigerator granted mid-century moms a terrifying new freedom to make hay with iceberg lettuce and cottage cheese. Joining his other works The Gallery of Regrettable Food and Interior Desecrations, James Lileks chronicles the creepiest creations of the day.

[Available for pre-order at Barnes & Noble, 325 Harvard St., Coolidge Corner, Brookline. 617.232.0594. bn.com]

 

CAMPER'S DREAM ICE CREAM MAKER | $30.95

There's nothing like hiking up a mountain, breathing in some fresh air and then snarfing freshly made frozen dessert upon descent. Pack some ice, rock salt, cream and this camping ice cream maker and you'll be handsomely rewarded for your outdoor exertion. I know you're probably going to just use this on your Mission Hill porch, but whatever.

[Available at Hilton's Tent City, 272 Friend St., North Station, Boston. 617.227.9242. hiltonstentcity.com]

 

ETCETERA MEDIA SIX PACK WINE RACK | $40

Boston seems to have a severe right angle shortage. Be it tony South End condos or grimy Somerville slums, our supposedly level surfaces tend to run awful slanty -- which leads to lopsided waffles, teetering bookshelves, wine bottles rolling to their doom and the alarming downhill seep of post-kegger floor mess. At least one of these problems has a quick fix: Secure that booze in a fuzzy felt wine rack from local design crew Etcetera Media.

[Available at Greenward, 1776 Mass. Ave., Porter Sq., Cambridge. 617.395.1338. greenwardshop.com]

 

HEMINGWAY FOR A NIGHT | $45

The plot burns in your mind, the characters are close to your heart, the prose is on the tip of your tongue -- now how to capture that on paper? Take a seminar or weekend workshop with Grub Street, Boston's literary arts center, and get your pen moving in the right direction, whether that be poetry, nonfiction, screenplay, suspense or the tortured entries of your key-and-lock diary.

[Available at Grub Street, 160 Boylston St., Theater District, Boston. 617.695.0075. grubstreet.org]

 

BASIC HARD CHEESE KIT | $29.95

From the gnarliest of the blues to the bloomiest of Bries, there's a bit of a cheese fiend in all of us. Indulge your friends' creamy cravings and enable them to make their own cheese at home. Kit includes makings for Gouda, cheddar and Colby with blessings from "the cheese queen" herself, Ricki Carroll.

[Available at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company, P.O. Box 85, Ashfield. 413.628.3808. cheesemaking.com]

 

CROCS MAMMOTH | $40

Just because the warm weather is over doesn't mean the utilitarian dystopian footwear trend has to come to an end. We're talking fleece-lined Crocs here, complete with false holes on top to keep the ugliness alive. The perfect way to say to a loved one, "I care about your feet, but I never want you to get laid."

[Available at Foot Paths, 489 Washington St., Downtown Crossing, Boston. 617.338.6008. footpathsshoes.com]