It's getting cold out there!

By smurderous187 on Sat, Nov 3, 2007 2:38 pm

Chop it Up!

 

Alright my friends, as I look outside today I realize that the frigid tit of winter is returning. It's not an inviting day to stroll with your sweatered Chinese-crested poodle. With the wind, rain, and cold...there will soon be snow. No one will have the feignest of desires to walk outside with this new climate trend. This means sweaters and large roaring fires will be your cuddling lover soon. To prepare, get outside and chop some wood! This burly activity will keep you warm and provide a stern, booming flame in the approaching chilly months.

 

 

Teen Bop Tuesdays!

By smurderous187 on Tue, Oct 2, 2007 4:22 pm

We wanted to soothe the public's needs for teen heart throbs. Mmmm...

Unfortunately, no one here knows Jake Gyllenhaal. Instead we have decided to make our own version providing all the elements of Teen Bop into one delectable image.

To evolve or not to evolve.

By smurderous187 on Fri, Sep 21, 2007 12:59 pm

During junior high I took Biology with Mrs. McSwain. She was a fairly cool teacher who I knew as the mom of a soccer team friend. During the second half of the year we reached chapter 11, the one on the theory of evolution. Upon meeting this point in the book, Mrs. McSwain explained to us that she didn’t believe the theory and didn’t wish to teach it to us for personal beliefs. At the time I thought, “Whatever, one less chapter.” I didn’t know much about evolution for years to come due to her. Now I realize she was a real butt hole for skipping ch.11.

Last night I watched “Flock of Dodos” by Randy Olson. It is a documentary that shows the debate over evolution and intelligent design rages on... and may seemingly never end. Randy speaks with scientists, theorists, and the creepy seeming folk of Discovery Institute trying to see which group may be the most valid on Darwin’s theories.

It will flock you up.

The intelligent design speakers are folk trying to sneak god back into the science classrooms, and the evolutionists are pushing the idea that we’ve evolved from previous species. Neither is entirely accurate, lacking enough facts to be so. Intelligent design says that things like mountains had to be created by a superior being, and they couldn’t have just evolved. This becomes a problem in public schools where science teachers are faced with a problem that can quickly dissolve the separation of church and state.

“Flock of Dodos” was an enjoyable film that fairly showed both sides, but ultimately made me feel like the intelligent design supporters are just extremely religious and conservative folk trying to dismiss the possibility of how we were created. Olson’s way of presenting the subject matter is widely accessible and humorous. No matter how worked up supporters of either side get, he has a way of keeping people civil and open to discussion. I wish he could’ve spoken to dear old Mrs. McSwain who backed down to the PTA or something and ignored the whole subject. She ruined the education of hundreds of innocent minds!

Swingers Welcome!

By smurderous187 on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 4:15 pm

With the rain and cold making visits to our fair Boston, the beloved summer is coming to an end. It’s been a lovely relationship and I’ll miss the warm, easy, breezy afternoons that summer and I spent together. That bitch is going south though, so soon outdoor activities will be severely limited. While I’m not a regular golfer, this said luxury will soon be ending. Hark, what is that in my foresight here to ease my woes; Tiger Woods is that you?

Nintendo Wii has put out a new year of Tiger’s golfing game and for a mundane sport, it’s a pretty badass game. For starters, it has the most comprehensive character building I’ve ever seen. You can build a face to look like your own with features to adjust width, length, shape, color, and even blemishes! It offers a variety of body builds, clothing types and colors, as well as hairstyles. These features alone can occupy your first 15 minutes with all the choices, choices, and more choices! Once you make it to the course an assuring commentator’s voice describes the pitfalls to avoid as the camera scans over each hole you approach. The aerial views of the course are beautifully rendered and full of depth, just as the rest of game play. Before each swing there is an option to practice, which is handy for verifying your power and curve when hitting the ball. The Wii remote is pointed down and then brought forward, just as if you really were out on the green. The remote responds well to different angles of swinging and offers backspin on the ball by using the remote’s directional pad to help make par.

Ryan takes a putt. 

Although the video game requires far less skill than a real game (you can never miss the ball or scuff the ground and get sore elbows), I manage to lose often. The commentators even begin to turn on you as your game withers. “Wow, finally an ending to what has been a painful triple bogie,” they say as I’ve already clearly had a rough time. The huge advantage over real golf here is that I can drink whiskey with friends while I play the PGA tour. So piss off waspy commentators!

I'm almost 25, and I just want booze!

By smurderous187 on Thu, Sep 13, 2007 5:48 pm

Last night I was on my way to dinner with friends. To be a good guest I stopped into a grocery next to Copley Mall which I will not name to gather supplies. A half pumpkin pie sounded delicious, so I nabbed that and a bottle of gewurtraminer wine, some great sweet wine that I wanted my friends to try. With my goods in hand I headed to the checkout. A douche in excess of 15 items in the express line held things up for a while, but I patiently waited. When my turn came the cashier called over a haggard crone of a head cashier to verify my license. It is out of state, so they refused to accept it. My delicious wine was swept away and put under the counter out of my reach. With my spirit not totally broken I biked down Huntington to a wine and spirits store. I obtained an equally enjoyable wine, but the cashier here almost didn't sell it to me either since I only had one form of ID. Both locations said they would accept my passport in the future. Another option is to get a Mass ID for $20. I've earned my ID with age, I refuse to give in and buy another ID. It's all a clever ploy for the city to pay off its millions of dollars of debt. This never would've happened if it weren't for those damned teenagers using fake IDs.

Boogie down Bitches!

By smurderous187 on Thu, Sep 6, 2007 4:58 pm

Wii's BoogieIn a lethargic age, the Wii continues pushing new ways on its owners to stop loafing on the couch. Boogie does this while also attempting to bring back the lost art of dancing. The Wii remote you grasp punches a rhythmic beat prompting movement to match that pace. The goal is to move with the beat and point the remote in a multitude of directions to keep things fresh and earn higher scores. I suppose game play could be limited to wrist movement, but in the process of playing this game I felt a powerful sort of vibe. My hips gyrated, my toes kicked empty air…it made me want to don all black tight clothing and a gold chain and lose myself in the Saturday night fever…even though it was a Thursday. Karaoke with an included Wii microphone is even an option after you dance to a song! You must match pitches while you sing to earn points. It’s not completely accurate however; you can mumble curse words the whole time and still get a perfect score if you’re muttering on pitch. The songs selection is also pretty weak with safe pop songs like “Oops, I did it Again,” “Kung-Fu Fighting,” and Jamiroquai’s “Virtual Insanity.” Beyond that, the system stores your dance moves and singing so you can later edit the two into a video. This seems like a cool feature at first, but quickly loses its interest. In the end this game’s primary purpose is to inspire you to enjoy a little smooth dancing. Aside from paraplegics, anyone can enjoy shaking their hips in the privacy of their own home with this innovative trickery.