DMX Loves Dogs

By DAVID THORPE

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Cynical observers might cock a suspicious eyebrow toward DMX, who claims to be "devastated" by the loss of his dogs. More than a dozen malnourished mastiffs and pit bulls were recovered from his Arizona home in a recent raid, and the corpses of three more were unearthed in his yard, one of which was burned. Those skeptical of the rapper's sincerity might suggest that, at a certain point, being "devastated" doesn't quite cut it, and that point is at about two dead dogs. One dead dog is an awful shame, and two dead dogs is a stone-cold bummer. But three?

But I am no such cynic. DMX is clearly an animal lover--he has a pit bull tattooed across his back, and many of his albums seem to feature snarling dogs on the cover. Never mind that the Humane Society blasted him years ago for his seeming glorification of dogfighting--his 2004 album Grand Champ proudly depicts a mean-mugging fightin' dog--the man has a fondness for pups that seems to express itself in unpredictable ways.

What are we to think of someone who claims to love dogs, yet consistently takes on more pets than he can control or maintain? I'll tell you what we're to think: compulsive animal hoarding.

In the public service essay "Behind Closed Doors: The Horrors of Animal Hoarding," the US Humane Society tells us that compulsive animal hoarders aren't just crazy cat ladies--they're generally quite outwardly normal and functional in society. DMX falls a bit between the two, I think; though he may have found fame and fortune, calling him "functional in society" would be a bit of an overstatement, considering his intricately textured history of run-ins with the law. But still, it's impossible to ignore the fact that he exhibits all the classic signs:

Recent research has pointed to a direct correlation between psychological problems and the tendency to hoard ... Hoarding is very often a symptom of a greater mental illness.

Ah-ha! Could X's animal hoarding have something to do with his bipolar disorder? It certainly could, says I.

The HSUS defines an animal hoarder as a person who has more animals than he or she can properly care for.

Here is a man who had more than a dozen dogs, but claimed that he hadn't been to his home for more than two months (he'd hired a caretaker, but the caretaker took no care). The dogs were found malnourished, with no access to food or water. Shockingly, this isn't the first time: in 2002, more than 13 neglected dogs were seized from his home as he pled guilty to animal cruelty charges.

What's more, hoarders are usually well-educated and possess excellent communication skills.

Though I'm not sure how well DMX is educated, he did grow up in the School Street housing projects--imagine it! A whole street of schools! That's about as educated as you can get. As for communication skills, here is a man who bases his livelihood on his frank and heartfelt communication of the thug lifestyle. "The friends, the foes, the Benz, the hoes," he once so eloquently stated.

Many hoarders have an uncanny ability to attract sympathy for themselves, no matter how abused their animals may be, which is often how hoarders manage to fool others into thinking the situation is under control.

Look no further than DMX's claim that the loss of his dogs "devastated" him, or see this telling quote from his lawyer: "He loves dogs--he loves these animals. Those dogs are practically his family." Aww.

"It's unbelievable," says a Humane Society official in "Behind Closed Doors," "how someone who reports to love animals so much can cause so much suffering."

So what's to be done with DMX, who--like Lennie in Of Mice and Men--loved his precious creatures too roughly and wound up burning them up and burying them in the yard? The Humane Society states that animal hoarding cases are increasingly prosecuted as animal cruelty, so don't be surprised if X goes to jail yet again. Also, don't be surprised if he goes to jail for the large cache of firearms the cops found, or for the untraceable, wrongly licensed cars, or for what was cryptically described as a "usable amount" of marijuana.