OH, CRUEL WORLD!

By Dig Reader

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Dear day-tripper,

Please hurry the hell up. I know all them skyscrapers we done built are real intimidating-like, and us city folk sure do walk fast, but I don't have time to dawdle behind you and your wide-eyed, mouth-agape family at speeds slower than a melting glacier. I'm pretty sure funeral processions take less time to wrap up than the time it takes you to walk one whole block.

If you took more time to dress like less of an idiot—a white Harley shirt tucked into a pair of jeans, yet mysteriously, you're not wearing a belt—I'd just think you were some stupid native who forgot where they were for a second. But the fanny pack around your wife's waist and the somber, "please kill me" look on your son's face were dead giveaways.

I'd shout, "Oh dear, oh dear! I shall be too late!" but this isn't Wonderland and I'm not the White Rabbit. Kindly move.

Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to letters@weeklydig.com, or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.