Stroked egos

By Media Farm

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HAVE YOU HEARD that the New York Times Company gave the Globe four weeks to live (if it doesn't cut a pesky $20 million in costs) nearly four weeks ago? (No? Well, welcome home from your cave vacation!) We can't predict the future, and this will have gone to press by the Globe's possible expiration date, BUT we did slither to Faneuil Hall to witness the giant praise orgy that was the Save the Globe rally.

The location couldn't have been more perfect. German tourists no doubt now believe that Bostonians rally weekly for the print-media cause, as newspaper enthusiasts slapped "Save the Globe" stickers on anyone with a torso. Speakers blared the "Hymn of the Battle Republic" and "Liberty Bell" (which is better and more appropriately known as the Monty Python theme).

Who cares about the Globe? Well, a legion of die-hard readers, children who probably should have been in school at noon on a Friday (so they can learn how to read), construction workers (i.e., unions), City Council President Michael Ross (who, by the way, is a total PLAYER, according to the city's other fine publication, Stuff) and Globe employees, who told the crowd about what a very special, precious resource every last one of them is.

We could tell you how seriously everyone took themselves, and make analogies about inflated egos and inflated newsrooms. We could quote Boston Newspaper Guild President Dan Totten, who called the Globe "a bedrock of an institution," or reporter Brian Mooney, who cited 21 pages of discretionary bonuses in the Times Co.'s financial report, and said, "Shame on them." We could also tell you about copy editor Dorothy Clark pointing out, "Where would the Herald be without the Globe? ... Would the Herald become even more irrelevant than it is without competition?"

But, in the spirit of emulating and "saving the Globe," which recently interviewed Ben Affleck about the media industry, we interviewed Rami Salami, noted media critic, clown and helium artist, about the rally, which occurred right next to his balloon twisting stand. "I have saved the Globe," Mr. Salami said, "... in a big bundle in my kitchen!" He added, "I love the Globe, the city wouldn't be the same without it. And the Herald gives me a headache." Eat your heart out, pretty boy Affleck!

LET US PREFACE this next mini-rant: We enjoy a healthy rivalry with a company run by Citizen Kane and his son with the motorcycle-chapped thighs. But we also don't think that the Phoenix Media Communications Group's layoffs are more special than any other publication having to make the same painful decisions. Then again, "Rosebud" never wrote us a paycheck.

Noted media columnist Adam Reilly, who just so happens to write about the media for the Phoenix, says experiencing a dose of reality has made him sprout a heart, and this empathy thing that everyone keeps jabbering about might just be good for his writing!

I think experiencing this unpleasantness firsthand might make my [sic] do my job a bit differently. Until now, I've been insulated from the unpleasant realities I write about pretty much every day. Now, unfortunately, I'll have a different perspective—more immediate, more visceral—when I write about layoffs, or salary cuts, or the bigger economic developments that make these things necessary. In all honestly [sic], that's empathy I'd rather not have.

Also, Dan Kennedy, who used to have Reilly's job before he moved on to jerk himself off for hapless Northeastern students, and on Emily Rooney's Beat the Press (heh), wants you to know that he sees Stephen Mindich's soul. And it's in turmoil. Only a man who "is simply the most talented and dogged media executive in Boston" and created his empire "literally out of nothing" (shouldn't a professor know better than to butcher the word "literally"?) could invent the Most Humane Ever Method for layoffs in a recession: "The larger salary cuts are reserved for higher-paid employees, which is the way a company ought to be run." Genius! And Kennedy should know! He's been making uninformed suggestions about how papers should be run for years. Hey, what's that creaking clacking sound? Oh, it's just some mutual masturbation on the blogosphere.