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[Cruel World]

Oh, Cruel World!

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Dear drunk douchebag,

Thanks for ruining my time. I traveled 3,000 miles to run the marathon, all to raise money for a national charity. You fucked my shit up. You and your fucking disgusting pus-gut full of beer from the Red Sox game or whatever cocksucking frat party you attended ran into me at mile 22. Usually, I'd see your massive girth floating toward me like a barge toward the rocks; however, I wasn't expecting impact from the periphery (that means from the side, you simpleton). As my person folded into your "back-40," I instinctually reached out to hold you up so you wouldn't fall to the ground, thinking you may have been a fellow runner. The stench of beer and hot dogs, and appearance of glitter, quickly identified you as a fucking tool who didn't have the patience or stamina to wait for a gap in the runners. As my therapist has taught me, I quickly forgot about your worthless soul and continued on my masochistic journey, only to fall 15 seconds short of my goal of cracking four hours ... probably similar to your goal of getting laid without payment by someone under 300 pounds.

I hope you die on the toilet.

Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to letters@weeklydig.com, or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.

Comments

Let me get this straight

You're in the privileged position in this world where 1) you're healthy enough to run a marathon 2) healthy enough that you have a 'best time' to beat and 3) financially independent enough to fly 3000 miles to run down a street, for 'charity.' You obviously have an existence smothered in the rose-scented farts of the bloody angels, but then you have the temerity, the unmitigated gall to whine about someone who obviously is far worse-off than you (being drunk in the middle of the day, even a holiday, is a sign things probably aren't going right) messing up your time? Wow. What a compassionate fucking soul. What a selfless, bitchy little mess you are. I'm sure your 'charity' is happy to have your fit, financially-secure self raising money for them. If only all those 'fucking tools' who smell of 'beer and hot dogs' (who do you think you are? Mr. Burns?) would get out of your way and let you continue your unbelievably privileged life. Here's a thought: go back to your therapist and tell her that because your time in a silly fucking run is more important to you than a fellow human being, even a fat 'worthless soul,' you need far more intensive help.

Submitted by Edinton on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 10:43am.

Maybe declaring the

Maybe declaring the worthlessness of the drunk dude who intercepted the marathon is a little extreme. However, it is a Marathon. People (rich and poor, smart and dumb) train for months (sometimes years) for this race. It's not a privilege to run in the race; it's earned. It's a difficult task many people do to raise money for charity which, to many, is selfless and inspiring. It's also a valued accomplishment to finish a 26 mile race under four hours even if not for charity. There are plenty of times and places throughout the race where crossing the road is acceptable. It sounds incredibly inconsiderate and downright disrespectful for an uncoordinated, drunk person to cross the race when there are runners passing. The author of this OCW didn't need to bash the person's worth-- the complaint was valid enough without the extra adjectives.

Submitted by bostongirl on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:39pm.

cocksucking frat party you attended???

WTF is up w/ that? Where did that highly-judgmental comment come from, asswipe? Being the- alleged- charitable sort you claim to be, you are aware that fraternities often engage in charitable work of their own, yes? Or does your self-important, oh-so-above-it-all 'tude make you ignorant as well as ill-mannered? You could have made your point w/out the gratuitous bigotry. And hey, if you really trained for the marathon, you should've been quick enough on your feet to dodge that guy! And 15 seconds short? Next year train harder, tool. (4 hrs isn't that diff.)

Submitted by RJ on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 5:26pm.

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